No one will ever get it.
No one will ever understand.
I'm sorry to put you through this.
You don't understand. There are days where it still hurts. It still hurts how it did the next day; the next week; the next month. &I, myself, cannot understand it at all. What happend to me? You know what, it's not even about him. It's about me. I gave my all. Everyone says they "do," but me? I had no doubts, no holding back, nothing to second guess. I gave all my trust. When we were "working it out," I believed all the lies even though I knew they were lies. &now? I'm having doubts; I'm holding back; I'm second guessing. I wish I didn't have to feel this way, but I do. But I can't tell you this. Why? Because you'll think it's about him. When it really isn't. I can't even understand myself, and I'm spilling my guts out because if my friends ever knew I'm actually thinking this. I'd get slapped in the face. I know, I healed so great. Great act, right? No one will understand. I feel helpless when it comes to this.
That is why I can't go into a relationship. I know you want it so bad. You don't get it. This feeling I feel for you is so,so,sooo familiar. It's so scary. I can't do this - do that again. Point blank, good things don't last forever. Love is too scary for me. & I wish I fell in love with you first.
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